Carrot Weather: the rudest, funniest and most accurate weather app

Learn about the best weather app, which loves to swear at you, threaten you and also provide the most accurate and beautiful weather forecasts. This is Carrot Weather everyone.

What would it be like if you could have your iOS or Android weather app call you a meatbag, make rude jokes about the weather and actually provide very accurate weather in a beautiful format? Well, that is Carrot Weather, available to both iOS and Android devices.

First up you might be wondering what is with the word ‘meatbag’, because Carrot Weather’s AI loves to call its user ‘meatbag’. The word can be described as a slang term used by AI’s or droids to refer to humans or organics. And yes as you can tell it sets the tone for this fun ridden weather app.

Although based in the USA, Carrot Weather is surprisingly accurate in all predictions even rainfall. This cannot be said for most weather apps who from my many years of using them have failed miserably in accuracy here in Europe. Let me explain a bit further.

Meet Moira
Moira is one type of voice and AI you can set in the settings from your smartphone. Moira has an Irish background and accent, combined with that Stephen Hawking-esque voice tone makes it a very interesting sound to be greeted and humiliated by.
When opening the app on my phone (also not having your phone on silent), I am greeted by the home screen and Moira welcoming me with a message that is pertinent to the current weather. This however is not always done in the most behaved tone or way as you can tell by the below example messages.

courtesy of Marcel van der Wilden©
courtesy of Marcel van der Wilden©

Moira likes the F-word and some other profanity, however as I can imagine it is not to everyone’s liking to be made to feel like a piece of shit or meatbag, there is an alternative. There is something I could call a profanity setting.
When you go to settings you can actually set your AI, in this case Moira to different levels of rudeness and even include politics or not. I have to admit that the politics setting is heavily America focused and less interesting for the common European who could not give a flying f*ck about the US and their corrupt political system and celebrity molesters.

courtesy of Marcel van der Wilden©

Under the personality settings I can set Moira to either a very timid ‘Professional’ Bill Gates attitude, or ‘Friendly’ like the next door neighbour who is secretly banging your wife, or ‘Snarky’ with sarcastic (mostly) free of violence comments as opposed to the last two styles. And I must admit, my more favoured styles. First ‘Homicidal’ which really brings the OJ Simpson out of Moira and as the app explains might threaten you and your loved ones with bodily harm. Then my favourite and also my daily setting is ‘Overkill’, which is like Jim Jefferies, Billy Connolly and Samuel L. (Motherf.) Jackson all rolled into one. And let me tell you it is great fun.

You probably are wondering why I would like to be sworn at, abused and threatened by a mere AI, but let me tell you, it will crack you up every time you open the app. Also when I say crack you up, I do not mean in a sad/crying or drug related sense, but in a laughing way, just to be clear. And I might, just a little bit, have some self-esteem issues as well, but hey let’s not get distracted here, meatbag!

Carrot Weather is very decently priced for such a big and detailed app at €5,49 in Europe and $4,99 in the US. You can buy a monthly or yearly subscription additionally to that at a very acceptable rate of €3,99 per year or €0,49 per month.

Honestly I have not subscribed to the additional features you get for that amount of money which goes to greater customisation on your Apple Watch mainly and more in-depth notifications. However I have read nothing but good reviews about the subscription and if you like your weather detailed and customisable then do give it a try.

Secret Locations
There are a few funny gimmicks built into Carrot Weather, one of them being ‘Secret Locations’. This menu will offer you a bit of game in which it is your task to find famous landmarks or buildings around the globe by using a built in artificial map scanner of some sort. I have tried to find the Pyramids and the Pentagon but the novelty wore off rather quickly. This menu and function can be turned off in the settings, thankfully.

AR (Ass wiping rear end)
AR or Augmented Reality gives you another cool, yet gimmicky function. Here the app opens your camera and asks you to look for a flat surface and then it will project the weather in AR on that surface. It’s like Star Trek and Star Wars came together and infiltrated your phone, minus Chewbacca of course. Raaaaooorrrrr.

courtesy of

Weather Accuracy
Now over the years I have used well known weather apps like WeatherPRO, YahooWeather, WeatherLive, Weather+, AccuWeather and The Weather Channel. You must have been bored Marcel? Ha, tell me about it.
But none of these apps have come close to the accuracy of Carrot Weather here in Europe. I can also add that after many reviews from other places around the world the accuracy is met with the same optimism and feedback.

The last few months we had the odd storm here (nothing like a hurricane), and the prediction time of it hitting was as spot on as Neil Armstrong remembering to say his lines correctly when filming the fake Moon-landing in 1969……Oooooohhh crap, no he did not just become a moon landing conspiracist!! Houston we have a problem.

Also the Apple Watch app is tremendously up to date, without you having to open the app on your watch for the latest weather information. Combine that with great graphics, design and even snarky comments on your watch screen make this a very complete and user friendly weather app.

Conclusion (back on earth)
From being called a meatbag to many other profanities. As well as providing a colourful, playful yet incredibly accurate and affordable weather app, Carrot Weather encapsulates the true description and design of what a weather app should be like.
As briefly mentioned before (we have to make America great again) you can download Carrot Weather on both Apple’s iOS and Google Android.

For a direct download go to the Carrot Weather website HERE to download the app or visit your iOS App Store or Google Play Store to start downloading….meatbag!

P.S. No lunar landing-craft, Apollo 11 or Neil Armstrong was damaged/killed in the creation of this article.

P.S.2. My opinions are my own and if you favour a different weather app then you are a meatbag.