It has been an emotional week full of Apple news, both good and bad. I had some conversations with friends about their possible phone upgrades and one topic kept coming up: porn and its effect on battery life.
Yep, porn was the biggest battery killer by far apparently. Crazy world.
‘Cumming’ ahead of PokemonGO and making selfies.
Okay, stop yanking my chain Marcel!
It is actually general battery life I wish to discuss here. Or in other words, the crap battery life on most iPhones. Let me try and help you with this rather neat list of tips and tricks to get the most out of your jiz..uhhm..juice!
Before we get down into the nitty gritty details as to why Stormy Daniels would ever shag that orange buffoon AND why your battery life is not up to scratch, let me please reiterate that this list ‘could’ help, but is not a definitive guarantee for each iPhone. It is important to remember that in some cases you can actually have a faulty battery and just need to replace it, changing settings will definitely not fix ‘that’ problem.
1. iOS update adjustment period
Every year there are a lot of people who complain that after updating to Apple’s latest iteration of iOS, their iPhone’s battery performance drops drastically. No Apple is not rigging your iPhone’s software to perform less. Not in this case. Anymore.
The reason for the drain is the fact that your phones files and apps are arranged in indexes, keeping all of your phone’s information organised – and, quickly accessible.
When a major iOS update comes along, a lot of the code and systems that make up your phone get changed significantly. This means your iPhone has to re-organise and re-index all your apps and data on your iPhone, to make it more searchable. This results in a large amount of work the processor has to do, which inevitably creates additional drain on your battery. You also often notice that people tend to spend more time on their phones trying out the new features and inadvertently do not notice the extra screen time they are thus creating.
Luckily this process only lasts for around 24 to 48 hours, so your battery life should be back to normal two days after you complete the iOS 12 update.
2. Bluetooth off
A lot of people probably do not even realise that iOS turns bluetooth on by default when your first install iOS. If you do not use bluetooth accessories like an Apple Watch then turn your bluetooth completely off for some added battery juice.
Go to the app Settings > Bluetooth > Flick the green switch to the left
3. Lowering brightness
One of the biggest battery drainers on any smartphone is the brightness. When you are dealing with high quality displays like Samsung’s Quad HD+ Super Amoled or Apple’s Super Retina OLED’s then cranking your brightness up to max will severely impact your daily battery performance. My own iPhone 7 Plus mostly is set to 30 or 40% brightness.
Go to the app Settings > Display & Brightness >Brightness > Move the slider higher or lower. There is also a quicker method by accessing your Control Center by sliding up from the bottom of your screen or if you own an iPhone X or newer, sliding down from the top right of your screen.
4. Running apps in the background
Just like brightness, battery app refresh can also be a major downer on your juice levels.
Hidden in some of the lower levels of iOS settings and menu, you will find a list of all your apps, either with green switch (see picture above) or a white one. Green for one, white for off. With this list you should consider do I need all my apps to run in the background. Some apps like Whatsapp, Facebook and Email it makes sense, but I do not need booking app or airbnb app to be running all the time trying to fetch me updates. Turning off all those apps you do not necessarily need info from all day long will seriously help your battery performance.
Go to the app Settings > General > Background App Refresh > Flick apps on or off.
5. Location services
If you had not noticed yet, you definitely will now, iPhones have a lot of background processes to give you what you need and you probably did not even know they existed. I mean why would you be such a geek and dig through all those countless menus and settings? Right Marcel? (#nerd)
Well as I did it for you here is another hidden battery drainer called ‘Location Services’.
Most apps can track your activity from a location perspective or need your location to function properly (think Google Maps). You can tailor these settings in three ways, set an app to ‘while using’ (only use location services when you have opened the app), ‘never’ making any location service use impossible by turning it off or lastly ‘always’ when you always want the service to be available to that specific app. Something I do for my weather app Carrot for example.
You can find it by going to the app Settings > Privacy > Location Services.
6. Push notifications apps
If You do not want to see any fake news coming from your CNN or FOX-NEWS app then you just simply turn it off. Added bonus is that you also drain your phone’s battery less and receive less fake news. Every installed app gives you the ability to customise its notification settings through banners, badges and sounds which all drain battery in some little way. A lot of apps you really do not need to receive notifications from so save yourself some battery and turn them off for those apps.
Go to the app Settings > Notifications.
7. Turn on low power mode
Should you get down to 20% or even 10% battery level then do not despair, Apple built in a ‘Low Power Mode’ which by activating will make those last percentages of battery last that little bit longer. Making sure you can catch that late night Uber home after a terrible one night stand with someone who’s name you no longer remember. It manages to do this by turning off background app refresh, push notifications, Siri functions, automatic downloads and certain visual effects until you fully charge your phone.
There are two ways to do this. The long way is by going to the app Settings > Battery > Low Power Mode. The shorter route is by opening your Control Center again and tapping the above pictured symbol (2nd pic on right).
8. Charge your phone to 30% – 80%
I will not bore you about the behaviour of batteries, but after a lot of research and experience I can guarantee you that it does ‘not’ harm your phone by leaving it on charge all night. However studies have shown that the optimal charge levels of a smartphone lay between 30% and 80% charged. So if you find yourself waking up to barely 20% juice, quickly pop it in the charger and probably 15 minutes later you are already at 40-50% and good to get through your average day.
9. Turn Wi-Fi off
Probably one of the most common mistakes made still by myself included is leaving Wi-Fi on all day. Yes, also Wi-Fi drains battery. What doesn’t you could say! Ha! If you leave the house and know you will not be in a public place using Wi-Fi just turn it off. There are two simple ways of doing this shizzle.
Go to the app Settings > Wi-Fi > Flick the switch.
Or open your Control Center as explained in Nr. 3 and simply tap the Wi-Fi symbol at the top. Now Apple for some reason decided that doing the latter does not completely turn Wi-Fi off, but only disconnects until the next day. It still does the trick as your Wi-Fi will not keep searching for networks in the background. But I bet you did not know that. #patmyselfontheback
10. Turn off (Hey) Siri
Apple’s AI Siri loves to help us in our daily lives by giving us the weather forecasts, helping us with reminders and being undecided on whether I am handsome or not. B*tch! My mommie always told me I was such a handsome boy! #mommiesboy
If of course you do not use Siri and her abundance in solutions the just shut her up by turning her off.
Go to the app Settings > Siri & Search > Switch off all the above settings (see pic).
11. Turn off sounds
My wife almost always has her phone on vibrate, which I personally do not like as I love hearing my personalised ringtone go off when I get a call. But there are more sounds that can have an influence on battery life. Keyboard clicks (when you type) and Lock Sound (when you lock your phone) are pretty unnecessary sounds (personal opinion) so why not turn them. Unless you love hearing yourself type of course.
Go to the app Settings > Sounds & Haptics.
12. Turn off iCloud
iCloud brings many advantages nowadays, from backing up your device to all your photos, music, email and contacts. It is a tremendous cloud based solution which unfortunately also gives a user far too many settings to play with again.
You might want to check whether you really need to have all those apps using iCloud turned on or not.
Do this by going to the app Settings > Tap On Your Profile Picture (top of menu) > iCloud.
13. Do not close all your apps all the time
Some of my friends and family are going to have a go at me for this one as I have (for many years) always informed them that closing your apps actually saves background processes and battery. Well….how wrong was I all that time!!
I can now confirm that constantly closing your apps actually drains more battery as every time you re-open those apps, the app has to start all its processes from scratch which takes more energy. Most apps are so smart nowadays that they do not actually do anything in the background when they are opened, thus making the constant closing of apps redundant. However if there are certain apps you have used but generally barely use, then close them out.
14. Change email from push to fetch
Do we really need to get every bloody email as soon as it comes up? Maybe you’ve got another email account that is less important. You can actually change these settings from ‘Push’ to either ‘Fetch’ or ‘Manual’. With Fetch, you can set an interval, such as every 15 minutes, 30 minutes, and so on, for your iPhone to check for new email. The longer you make the interval, the less battery you will be using. With ‘Manual’, it will only check for new email when you open the mail app.
Change your settings in the app Settings > Passwords & Accounts > Fetch New Data.
15. Edit search
The ‘Search’ function indexes and searches through every item on your iPhone. You can save a wee bit of battery, by filtering your searches, if you tell it to stop looking for irrelevant items.
Go to the app Settings > Siri & Search > Scroll down to your apps and turn off whatever you do not use.
I hope these tricks help you along a bit in making your smartphone as energy efficient as possible. Leave a comment if you have any additional tips that I might have missed.
P.S. No buffoons, baboons or Stormy Daniels were killed/hurt during the creation of this article.
*all pictures are courtesy of Marcel van der Wilden